Some people ask me (I don't know who, let's just go with some people and keep going with my train of thought OK?) "Why do you push, push, push all the time, just let go and relax." The problem is a few things. 1.) I'm a type A personality (if you have ever met me for 3 minutes you probably are aware of this), 2.) I only really try to focus my time and do things I care about (yes this is selfish, but God only gives us x amount of time on this planet, so want to do the stuff that I enjoy and/or can benefit others by doing) - which means I care about it and so I have to push hard to either be able to do what others want or be able to get my hands around what's going on to contribute, and 3.) Because I honestly don't know any other way.
Now I could write a blog post simply on each of these, and I very well may in the future; but today I just wanted to jump on and type this and say... I care. If you see me getting frustrated, angry, or just impatient it's because I care - and I want to try and do the best thing for everyone. Inside my head I have the same problems that everyone does: fear, depression, anxiety, regret, etc - but outside I have to be this bolstering person to either instill confidence in others or to just fool myself into doing what needs to be done to make things better.
Maybe I'm less of a person for admitting this on the internet. Maybe I'm just crazy and will regret this latter as some future employer or worse sees this and knocks me off of a short list. But, In all truth, I'd rather be honest with you than be fake (which is another post for another day [crap, I've got at least 5 more posts on this one alone -score-]).
So in summary - I push because I care, and if you see me pushing you, it's because I care about what your doing and who you are.
-J